May 24th, 2012
10 qualities to look for in a good relationship match
9. Acceptance: Your partner should be able to “get” you. They should know your tastes, your likes, your dislikes, your moods, your innate personality — they should know that “real” you, and love you for being exactly who you are. Acceptance is a key relationship skill. Both you and your partner should accept one another for exactly the people that you are, faults and all. Your partner should love you because of everything that comprises who you are. Don’t accept any less.
8. Chemistry: Physical chemistry is important. While it may not be the most important thing on this list, healthy relationships require attraction as a force. You and your partner ought to be attracted to one another, physically and emotionally, and that attraction should lead to a healthy level of chemistry that can be sustained over time.
7. Steadfastness: Your partner should be steadfast with you in promises and obligations. With you, your partner should be able to keep his or her word. Steadfastness leads to trust, which is absolutely essential in healthy, long-term relationships. If your partner isn’t steadfast with you, then you have little reason to grow trust with this person. Do not become intimately involved with someone who cannot keep their word.
6. Goals: It is important that you and your partner support each others’ goals in life. Relationships take constant work and require that you and your partner have a willingness to work together and grow together. Your partner should support and help you reach the goals you want in your life.
5. Generosity: Your partner should be generous with you, not in the financial sense, but in the emotional sense. Most importantly, your partner ought to be generous with time, when it comes to you. An essential aspect of relationships is the ability to “give”. If you notice that your partner takes and takes without giving, perhaps it’s time to find a new partner. Generosity is the essence of healthy relationships.
4. Priorities: Your partner and you do not need to have the exact same priorities in life, but it certainly helps if your priorities are aligned. If you want to move to India one day to teach yoga at a spiritual retreat and your partner wants to move to Los Angeles to jumpstart a career in the entertainment industry, your priorities are definitely not aligned. Sometimes, for a relationship to thrive, priorities can be adjusted or redefined, which is fine, but both parties should be equally flexible in this.
3. Trust: Trust is the single most important factor when it comes to when a relationship is a success or a failure. You must be able to trust your partner, and your partner must be able to trust you. And both of you should give the other person reason to trust. With trust, you have the ability to be vulnerable — an important factor in long-term, successful partnerships. If you can’t be vulnerable with your partner, it’s time to move on.
2. Communication: Good relationships have great communication structures. Bad relationships almost always have terrible communication between partners. You and your partner should speak the same language, emotionally speaking, in the sense that you should be able to communicate your desires successfully. Neither party should be timid about asserting themselves when appropriate, and neither party should feel shy about communicating feelings at any point.
1. Commitment: Commitment is the most important quality to look for when deciding a successful match. If you are searching for love and a long-term relationship, you and your partner must be able and willing to commit to one another, understanding all the sacrifices and adjustments that are necessary when transitioning from single life to life as a couple.
Source: http://blog.zoosk.com/2009/09/24/10-qualities-to-look-for-in-a-successful-match/
May 24th, 2012
Money
I know while things can always be better, they can also always be worse as well, but I can’t help but feel suffocated by money, or lack thereof. It’s as if our entire society is built on money, businesses, scamming and materialistic things. I’m making crappy pay, but I’m at least living at home and have cut costs in more ways than one, yet everywhere I turn, I feel like there’s some large expense about to slam me. I’m so sick and tired of this. I’ll be dead before I’m ever done paying off anything it feels like. I can’t wait to get to that point in life where I feel stable/secure.
May 13th, 2012
Baggage Vent
In an ideal world, we’d all find our one true love, be it growing up together or high school sweethearts and live happily ever after. But nothing’s ever that easy/simple, now is it? Least of all love and relationships.
I recognize that I have a past….and quite frankly one with parts I’m not very proud of. I realize in this day in age, especially in what appears to be a sex obsessed/infatuated culture, that can’t be avoided and finding anyone that doesn’t have some sort of relationship baggage (esp those in the military) is next to impossible.
I just wish there was a way for me to be completely ok with all this. Clearly the man I’m with loves me and would do anything for me….he’s already proven that so many times. I guess I’ve just been so scarred from my past on a whole that I have a hard time with things like I know I’ve said the L word and believe that I meant it at the time….and I hate to admit it but I have been intimate with my exes and of the ones I remember off the top of my head all but 1 has indicated thoughts/feelings/desires of marriage to me….probably 1 of which I thought would end up being serious. Despite all this, I know I love my (future) hubby more than anything….I’ve never felt this way about anyone (I know, I know…that’s such a cliche phrase like I Love You these days, but I mean it!) and I really believe he’s the one (or I wouldn’t be trying to move someplace I really don’t wanna…)
Anyway, so why then, can’t I accept the fact that my lover now has a past too? Sometimes it just absolutely kills me knowing the kind of past he had and the fact that he was engaged or has been casually ‘intimate’ with others….I’m guilty of all those too, yet it eats me alive at times. I hate this. Maybe it’s that whole time of the month thing…I swear the week leading up to (sorry if this happens to be TMI for anyone) my imagination and insecurities go crazy for no reason at all…and I feel even more guilty that I feel this way. I can’t win!
May 11th, 2012
Men and women alike…we all joke about it, but that time of the month can really get you without you even realizing it! And from personal experience, birth control can actually effect you more than you’d be willing to admit.
I used to always kind of half joke that it was just the week leading up to my time of the month too, but ever since I’ve moved home, I’ve really noticed the pattern. Let’s face it, we’ll always have good and bad in life…though I admit I feel I’m more accustomed to the bad, negative environments than the good. BUT, I have a great support system and though few, quite possibly the highest quality friends and boyfriend possible. And for all of the friends and exes I’ve dealt with that I’ve experienced the ‘mood swings, depression, anger, suicidal, etc.’ mess with, I’ve never been one to ever go near that route.
Thankfully, I still haven’t, but what I have picked up on lately is that I’m very out of character whenever my time nears. I definitely feel what I would believe is an onset of some form of mild depression, I want to cry, my mind becomes even more paranoid/worried coupled with a greater, horrible imagination of mine. It becomes quite difficult to distinguish whether I am being reasonable in my thinking or not about certain things/events. So I finally looked up the symptoms of my own birth control (BC) and of common BC potential side effects. Did you know that sometimes BC is prescribed with antidepressants?
I don’t know a remedy personally at this time, but realize that if things seem to be awful, it could just be close to your time of the month. Even if it’s not, things will always get better as long as you keep pushing through strong and stay true to you. And guys, though you probably won’t ever understand the physical pains and inconveniences us women must deal with each month, maybe this will at least give you insight on the emotional struggles we may have (and help reduce fights caused by this disconnect as well?). Oh life.
May 8th, 2012
(Positive) Running
WIN! WIN! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Drama at work is stupid per usual, but I forced myself to hit the gym post crazyness today.
Ok so after not working out for a solid half a year plus….and really not working out regularly since high school I about died. 20 minutes on the elliptical, interval setting? I was sweating like it was the middle of July.
BUT…I feel great! And I’m really really REALLY going to try my very best to keep at this. Besides…the gym is in my building aka free aka why the hell am I going to waste it again? I didn’t take advantage of the Rec center on campus….I don’t even have to step outside for this one!
Flashback to some of my goals for the year (as I don’t really believe in ‘New Years Resolutions) — be happier and healthier! Better late than never, right?
May 6th, 2012
Running
I should’ve been asleep at least an hour ago…but I couldn’t help but feel guilty for not blogging in a while. One of these days I’ll find the time to really delve into this….when life/work isn’t consuming me in a negative way and I’m not spending my time wondering where the crap my life is headed.
Sadly, not much has changed. I’m determined to make myself workout again - I really have never stuck to it since high school when I did tae kwon do and tennis. I miss being that strong and healthy…and with life these days, it’ll be nice to hopefully find more confidence in myself. Not to mention I could use a healthy stress reliever.
Here’s to my latest attempt to get into shape and get healthy. Running playlist in the works!
April 17th, 2012
March 30th, 2012
March 29th, 2012
I can’t believe I forgot about this video…saw it a while ago. Love the song and the skit is such a good reminder that you’re never alone.
March 20th, 2012
Current new music addiction. Phenomenal, creative and fun!
March 17th, 2012
Overload
I think the old age is setting in already just 1 week away from turning 22. Working 40+ hrs/week, plus the long roundtrip commutes and now trying to do a prep course too. I don’t know how I can handle it all! I’m already feeling sick….I think it’s time I started trying to assert myself more at home because I can’t imagine that it’s helping me to constantly be reporting to someone…I miss the freedom of college and being able to do and go wherever I wanted whenever I wanted to. I wanna go see my boyfriend or visit my best friend? Deuces! I think I could create my own reality TV show - I’m constantly monitored anyway! “REAL Asian Parents” ha. Ok so I’m sure it’s not all bad and plenty of people would kill to be in my shoes…I think….but it takes it’s toll!
Thankfully I have some of the best friends and the most wonderful man ever in my life to help keep me sane.
Until then, I just have to wait for the future when I can look back and say…”everything happens for a reason - I get why I went through that crap now!”
